The End

My dear husband is now back in the United States and tomorrow he'll be home. Knowing that his arrival is almost here has caused me to think back on this adventure. I remember vividly the day he left but it feels like so long ago. And even our cross country trek seems to have happened years ago. Time plays tricks on you I'm convinced. 10 months is really not that long, in the scope of life. But this 10 months has felt like for-e-ver! I've certainly learned a lot about myself during this time. It's really humbling because there have been many times when people tell me how patient I am or what a good job I'm doing. But really, this experience has showed me that I am extremely impatient and I how often I don't do a good job. It's those times when no one else is around and everything starts getting out of control and then I just lose it. There have been many, many times that I have had to apologize to the children because I have totally lost my self control and yelled and treated them unkindly. And probably a lot more times that I acted that way and didn't ask for forgiveness. I have failed them everyday. I didn't keep up with family worship, scripture memory or catechism the way I promised Bob I would. And it's really hard when I tell people that I've failed in all these ways, and more, and they tell me that it's okay because of the situation but really it's not okay. There's no excuse....
And yet I do find comfort in the fact that there is more grace in Christ than sin in me.
I'm just so thankful that tomorrow Bob will be back and I won't be on my own any more. Being by myself has shown me the importance of Bob's leadership in our family. He works hard to keep us on track spiritually and his presence has a great influence on the attitudes and behaviors that I see in myself and the children. Not to mention he's just fun to have around. :)
One thing that has meant so much to me during these 10 months has been our church family here and our extended church family. The people here have loved on us in a way that blows my mind. They have served us and helped us and encouraged us and hugged us and just gotten us through this. Our families and friends across the country have been praying for us the entire time and we are thankful for that. When the kids and I were traveling over the summer, every single place we stopped people told us that they were praying for us and that was such a blessing to me. We saw an amazing picture of the Church, one that will stay with me forever. It was our brothers and sisters in Christ who watched over me and the children when my husband was not here to do it. I can't help but think of the hymn "Blest Be The Tie That Binds".

It's getting late and my mind is on overload and I'm not even sure if what I wrote makes any sense or if it's just a hodge podge of the ramblings of tired mommy who is just so ready for her husband to be home. Oh well, I typed too much to just delete it now. I hope it makes sense in the morning.